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Top ten sighs that -
Top Ten Signs You're Addicted to The X-Files: 10. Your son is named Fox.
9. You have "Teso dos Bichos" on tape.
8. Fox's first words were "Trust No One."
7. You can think of at least two X-Files actors who have restraining orders against you.
6. Anytime you see William B. Davis make an appearance on any other show, you start yelling "Boooo, Cancer Man, Booooooo!!!!!!!"
5. You didn't cry at the end of Old Yeller, but you did at Gethsemane.
4. You have a shrine to Mitch Pileggi in your living room.
3. You constantly write lame X-Files top ten lists.
2. You follow X-Files conventions across the country the way some people follow the Grateful Dead.
1. You're hauled away by the FBI for violating your restraining order, and you ask the people taking you if they know Mulder or Scully.
Top Ten Sign your Neighbour is with the Shadowy Syndicate: 10. There's a huge cloud of cigarette smoke above his house.
9. You refuse to loan him your lawn mower and he warns you that he knows people in high places.
8. His favorite movie is JFK, but he insists that's not how it happened.
7. You bet on sports games with him and he wins every time.
6. His trash is filled with shredded government documents.
5. When you ask him about his occupation his only response is "we predict the future" (and he doesn't look like a psychic.
4. You constantly hear people try to kill him, but not after he convinces them that they'll never know the truth.
3. He refuses to lend you his tools, then gives you a long speech on why.
2. He keeps Jeremiah Smith locked in the basement.
1. He signs his checks (some characteristic about him) Man.
Top Ten Things Overheard at Pendrell's Funeral: 10. "Uh-Oh, looks like Chris is running out of characters to kill!"
9. "Damn! Why did I choose Skinner in the "who will go next pool?!"
8. "Now we begin the funeral for Ichibod Fivel Pendrell."
7. "It says here in his last wishes that he wishes to be buried with Scully-whether she's dead or not."
6. "Ha! Now with that dork out of the way there's no one stopping me from getting to Scully!"
5. "Don't be so sure of yourself Frohike."
4. ""
3. "How come he didn't get any cool last words like "Trust No One', or at least get to write something out in his own blood?"
2. ""
1. I'm a genius! This whole "hire someone to kill me so I can take a bullet for Scully" idea was pure genius, now she's sure to want me. Only problem now is I'm dead. Maybe I should have thought this plan through a little better."
Top Ten Signs Cancer Man is Losing his mind: 10. He tries to sue the Marlboro Man for ripping off his character.
9. He lets a member of the Shadowy Syndicate who is found guilty of providing Mulder with information off with a warning.
8. He officially changes his title to "Chain-Smoking Dude".
7. He lets Pauly Shore get an Oscar nomination
6. He tells Mulder how to cure Scully in exchange for his I WANT TO BELIEVE poster.
5. He calls up a company that makes history books and yells "your wrong, I'm resoponsible for that!"
4. He accidently kills the wrong person and his only response his "oops".
3. He finds a living E.B.E. and decided to let him go with just a fine.
2. He gives an order to never let Bud Light win the Bud Bowl.
1. He insults Well-Manicured Man's nails.
TOP TEN LINES YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER HEAR ON "THE X-FILES"10. "The alien is speaking, Agent Mulder....I think it wants to phone home."
9. "Sure, we could have these people killed to protect what they know...but isn't that a little harsh?"
8. "I've seen this one before, Scully. His name is Casper, and he's what we call a 'friendly' ghost."
7. "Look under the mask...this is no swamp monster.....it's Mr. Handy, the owner of the old country store!"
6. "My Lord! This conspiracy involves all three of the Gabor sisters!"
5. "The president wants to see you two immediately. His cheeseburger is possessed
4. "You'll be happy to hear, Assistant Director Skinner, that I've switched over to the nicotine patch."
3. ."And it would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling FBI agents!"
2. ""Well, Agent Mulder...you caught us. We'll cooperate fully, of course. What would you like to know?"
1. "Gosh, I guess we were wrong...the government did have our best interests at heart, after all!"